Tag: empathy


Letters To My Palestinian Neighbor by Yossi Klein Halevi

November 8th, 2018 — 10:05pm

Letters to My Palestinian Neighbor by Yossi Klein Halevi

I remember very clearly as a young boy, the great happiness among my family and friends on May 14, 1948 when there was the formal declaration of the establishment of the State of Israel. I also recall my first trip to Israel as a medical student with my wife in 1963 as part of a program for young Jews to better appreciate the meaning and the importance of the State of Israel. One more related memory for me to set the tone of my feelings about this book was nine years later, when I entered our synagogue with my family in 1973 on Yom Kipper and was shocked to learn of the surprise invasion of Israel by Syria and Egypt. Subsequently, I was fortunate enough to be able to visit Israel a couple of times with my family over the years including one time as Visiting Professor at Hadassah Hospital in Jerusalem.

I have never been any type of scholar of the Israeli-Arab dispute and conflict. I understand that the Arabs have great animosity towards the Jews and feel that the land of Israel is also Palestine, their homeland. As I came to appreciate the persistence of the Arab’s feelings and entitlement about Israel, I began to side with the idea of the “two-state solution.” My reasoning was that the Israelis could live in peace and their families would be safe and there would not be any threats. I assumed that the Arabs should feel the same way. This book was to teach me that I was quite naive in my simple views of the situation.

The author of this book is an Israeli scholar, born in the United States, but moved to Israel when he was a young man. He not only knows the Jewish history but is also very knowledgeable and understanding of the history of the Arabs and the origin of their feeling towards Palestine. He reminds the reader of his book that both people had their origin as being descendants from the two sons of Abraham. He wrote this book as a series of letters to his Palestinian neighbor whose home he can see from his own house off in a distance on top of a hill. He traces the history of the Jewish people and their connection to the land of Israel in a very compelling manner. He fills in many of the gaps in my knowledge and provides a depth of understanding that adds to the stories we tell at Passover or during the various Jewish holidays and when we read and discuss parts of the Torah or when we do these things during Jewish holidays, Bar Mitzvahs or any services at the synagogue.

Halevi clearly makes the case that the Jews are not only a religion but a people and have a commitment and a connection to the land of Israel. He wants his Palestinian neighbors to appreciate this. At the same time, he presents a very measured understanding of the Palestinian’s attachment to the land. He reviews the situation of how Prime Minister Menachem Begin almost brought Israel to accept the compromised two-state solution, but the Arabs could not honestly agree to such an arrangement. This book doesn’t offer a solution for the seemingly intractable problem. However, he feels sure that the Israelis could eventually accept the two-state solution if they truly believe that the other side would support this and recognize their right to exist. Only then would there would be a chance for living in peace and harmony. What comes across in this book is that the author is empathic to the feelings of his neighbors and hopes that someday, they will reciprocate this feeling. His book is very well done and will be quite enlightening to most readers as it was for me.

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Reclaiming Conversation by Sherry Turkle

October 5th, 2018 — 8:01pm

Reclaiming Conversation by Sherry Turkle

Although this book bemoans the loss of conversation because of modern technology, I don’t believe I have recently read a book that stimulated more conversation with people who are important to me than this one did. Early in the book, there is a reference to a cute two-minute video which had 51 million hits the last time I looked. It is titled “I Forgot My Phone” (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OINa46HeWg8). The response to this simple message reveals to me the awareness that people now have concerning their increasing dependency on their phones.

It is stating the obvious that people are on their phones much of the time, at the dinner table, while working, in school, walking in the street, riding in the car-frequently while driving, before going to sleep, just after waking up, as well as in many more places and situations. The author hammers home the point which should be obvious, but perhaps it is not, that texts, emails, emojis, etc. are taking the place of real conversations between people. Replying to a text or email while you are with people is not a real conversation with the person who is in your presence or with your phone partner. In person conversations facilitate real relationships and creativity.

The impact of this book, which is based on a good deal of personal research by the author as well as studying other peoples’ research and observations, is not simply a loss of the art of or advantages of meaningful conversation. Ms. Turkle makes a very strong argument and a scary one, as she gives numerous examples proving the point, that the more we communicate with our phones as compared to being in person, the more we lose the ability to have empathy and to be empathic with other people. The ability to relate to others and to understand their feelings is the essence of what makes us human. Ms. Turkle is making a very compelling case that modern technology is making us lose our humanity.

This point is made in the book numerous times. While it is even somewhat repetitious, there is great value to see it in so many different contexts. For example, there is a parent who takes a small child to the park and is looking at his or her phone rather than looking and talking to the child. The author gives the all familiar example of a family who is at home or in the car with children involved in games or texting as the parents are likewise preoccupied with their phones rather than the family relating to each other. When there should be an in person creative business meeting, instead the meeting is held by Skype during which the participants are multitasking in their own locations. There is a school lunch table where friends instead of talking and understanding each other, are looking at their latest texts. There are obviously numerous other examples that could be made and are made in this book.

While the results of the invasion of our phones and all that goes with it is scary and discouraging, there is hope. The author talks about families, businesses and schools that are addressing these issues with no phone zones, no phones at meals or in the car and other creative ways of bringing people together and encouraging conversation. However, it is also clear that we are far from solving this problem. In fact, the author shows us with many examples that we are regressing “Siri” to robots who we want to take care of us. Do we believe that artificial intelligent machines can understand and respond to us? Where are we going with this issue? What should we do about the effects of modern technology on our humanity and the impact on our children. Read this book and keep talking about this subject.

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Ghettoside: A true story of murder in America by Jill Leovy

October 10th, 2017 — 8:26pm

Ghettoside by Jill Leovy

This is a very sad book. It is a story of homicide in the so-called Ghetto area of Los Angeles. Most of the victims and perpetrators are young black men and boys. Not surprisingly, these murders are often gang related, sometimes revenge for previous murder or because somebody is believed to be a “snitch”. Other times the victim was just in the wrong place at the wrong time. Many of these murders don’t even get mentioned in the newspapers or on TV. It’s not unusual for there to be a couple of murders per night in each police district. These crimes may occur in a family where there is a tradition of crime and violence. But on the other hand, sometimes the victim is a high school kid who seemed to be on verge of breaking out of this cycle of crime. Countless families become devastated by this epidemic of murder as the author skillfully and vividly described in so many cases. At times the reader just wants to say, “Enough!” as it it is quite painful to read this book.

The book is also about the Los Angeles homicide detectives and their dedication and professionalism. We see countless examples of how these detectives deal with the horror and indescribable painful situations that they have to view every day. We see their patience and empathy as they speak to family members of murder victims and often making a death notification. This reader was blown away by their ability to do this type of work on a day-to-day basis and treat each murder with care and individuality. We follow some very skillful, dedicated detectives who do their jobs with great respect for the victims and their families.

The juxtaposition of getting insight into the impact of these murders on the families and the professionalism and dedication of the police homicide detectives was quite interesting. However, nothing was more dramatic and eye-opening then when one of the homicide detectives’ sons was murdered and we follow another detective as he applies his intellectual and emotional skills to follow and solve this case through the court room and final verdict. It was clear that this LAPD homicide detective did his best to bring justice to this case in the same manner that he handled all his other cases.

This book really gives a wonderful window and insight to how the police, despite difficult circumstances and at times limited resources, do a job about which they and all of us should be very proud. Reading this book is as engrossing as any TV show about crime and it probably brings the reader closer to the real thing than any movie or novel could do. It is all true and happening every day in Los Angeles and in many other cities throughout the country

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The Wisdom of Psychopaths by Kevin Dutton

July 21st, 2016 — 10:45pm

Screen Shot 2016-07-21 at 5.00.55 PMThe Wisdom of Psychopaths by Kevin Dutton

Kevin Dutton, the author of this book is a PhD research psychologist at the Department of Experimental Psychology, University of Oxford. His principal research interests are persuasion and social influence, and the psychopathic personality. This is his 4th book and 3 of them also clearly deal with psychopaths

This book is all about the Psychopathic Personality. While all aspects of this interesting entity are discussed from many view points, I don’t believe a clear definition was put forth- probably because there are some disagreements about many of the fine points. For the purpose of this review I will go by the definition of Psychopathic Personality as being a personality disorder characterized by amorality and lack of affect; capable of violent acts without guilt feelings. In the psychiatric literature the term was superseded by “ sociopathic personality ” which then evolved to the  “antisocial personality”

In the latest Diagnostic Statistical Manual-5 ( DSM-5), the term antisocial personality is used and defined as “ A persuasive pattern of disregard for and violation of the rights of others, occurring since age 15 as indicated by THREE (or more) of the following:

  • Failure to conform to social norms with respect to lawful behaviors as indicated by repeatedly performing acts that are grounds for arrest
  • Deceitfulness as indicated by repeated lying, use of aliases or conning others for personal profit or pleasure
  • Impulsivity or failure to plan ahead
  • Irritability and aggressiveness as indicated by repeated physical fights or assaults
  • Reckless disregard for safety of self or others
  • Consistent irresponsibility as indicated by repeated failure to sustain consistent work behavior or honor financial obligations
  • Lack of remorse, as indicated by being indifferent to or rationalizing having hurt, mistreated or stolen from another

The individual also must be at least 18 years of age, there has to be  evidence of the disorder starting before age 15 and it should not exclusively occur during the course of schizophrenia or bipolar disorder.

The author describes, to my mind, fascinating research by various authors about this entity. Often various scales are used to define the psychopathic personality that incorporate different aspects of the above criteria. Some would appear to emphasize some criteria and others would favor different criteria. Some researchers used very extensive tests and others would just ask a few questions. Before I go further, readers might was to take an 11 question test to see where they fit in on the psychopathic scale as determined by this short questionnaire.

Another test that he uses is a variation of the classical moral dilemma of the overcrowded lifeboat. Either some people have to be thrown overboard and die in the icy waters or they all will die. Various subjects are asked this question and how fast they answer, what their answer would be and perhaps what part their brain was shown to be active while they were deciding, all might be studies and the results would also be analyzed according to their scoring on a psychopathic scale of one type or the other.

Various components of the psychopathic personality are broken down and studied. For example, the author was interested in the fact that college students are trending to be less empathic and more narcissistic in various research studies.

The author is very interested in epigenetics, which is the change in how a gene is expressed without changing the DNA sequence. This would appear to be looking at how environmental factors influence how the gene is going to be expressed. This could occur to the fetus during pregnancy or I would suggest the same definition could occur by experience in childhood but all impacting on some genes that perhaps had a tendency to produce psychopathy. The author considers also how such things as child abuse might even produce an enzyme that in a susceptible individual might make them more aggressive.

The book is a hybrid between an interesting non-fiction discussion of the psychopath and a scholarly textbook. as would be the case in the latter many references are cited but not in the usual scholarly form but rather by an asterix(*), which leads the reader to the appendix where the topic is superficially discussed. Not knowing the research, we are left with the author’s conclusion about it without any critical analysis. For example we are not told the degree of statistical analytic support (or if there was statistical proof or just a trend) nor are we told if there might be other explanations that might shed light on a particular research finding.

There are many interesting questions raised by the author about the psychopath and various characteristics, which make up psychopathy.

For example, the psychopath often has ability to remain calm and objective under stress with razor sharp focus which might be useful in sports as a quarterback under pressure, a fireman in a dangerous situation and maybe even as a Navy Seal. You might want one in your foxhole unless of course there were a situation where only one person could survive.

There are many unexpected angles that the author uses to approach the analysis of psychopaths. He even makes the case that Saint Paul was a psychopath and that there could be a thin line between Saint and a psychopath. After all isn’t mindfulness an altered state where one is present, open, and alert with all judgment and interpretations suspended?

There is a discussion about empathy, something of which we might imagine that the psychopath would be in short supply. However in the riveting discussion about some sadistic serial killers, it was that exquisite ability to feel their victim’s pain, which was converted to pleasure and drove them to their numerous twisted murders.

So whether you are clinician or a layperson that has been fascinated by the characteristics often defined by the term psychopath, this book will hold your interest and even get you to wonder if deep down you have some of these traits.

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